


Every Day I Stay the Same

by relised



Series: RIP; You & Me [4]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Billy can't have nice things, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 04:44:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17481413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/relised/pseuds/relised
Summary: Billy had thought that after the championship game and the anniversary of his mother's death, maybe things would start to slow down. But clearly that's what he gets for thinking..."The closer Billy and Steve get to graduation, the more things spiral out of control. The more Steve uses, the more Billy starts to think that maybe he's just not worth getting clean for?





	Every Day I Stay the Same

Billy stood outside his car, pinching the bridge of his nose as the Party fought their way into the backseat of the Camaro. 

"Ow! Dustin you're sitting on me!" 

"Get your elbow out of my ribs!" 

"Why do you get the front seat?" 

"Because he's my brother! Stop complaining!"

Billy sighed as he pushed his seat back, rolling his eyes at Max as he climbed into the front seat. He glanced at the three boys in the back seat and Max in the passenger seat before he tiredly ran a hand over his face. 

"We're missing someone," he finally said, shaking his head. "Where the fuck is Byers?"

"Jonathon is taking him home," Max said helpfully. "Mrs. Byers still gets weird about him not being around family..."

"Okay then," the blonde said, rolling his eyes as he shifted into gear. 

"When can Steve start driving us again?" Wheeler said in the backseat, his face scrunched into a sneer. "His car is bigger!" Billy met Dustin's eyes in the rear view mirror, rolling his eyes when the boy immediately looked away. 

"That's Hopper's decision, not mine," Billy said with a shrug, trying to sound nonchalant. 

"I don't understand why Hop said he couldn't drive us in the first place," Sinclair grumbled. "He's been driving us for weeks, what's changed now?" Billy looked into the rear view mirror again, trying to meet Dustin's eyes, but the boy wouldn't look up. Clearly he hadn't told his friends what he'd seen just before Christmas and it wasn't Billy responsibility to explain that their babysitter wasn't allowed to babysit anymore because he was always high. 

"It's grown up stuff, okay?" Billy finally said with a sigh, pulling into the col du-sac outside the Wheeler's and Sinclair's house. Max jumped out of the passenger seat, her bag hugged to her chest as she followed Lucas to his house. "Maxine! Susan know you're going over there?" he called, rolling his eyes when Max flinched. 

"She thinks we're playing DnD tonight," She mumbled quietly, glancing away from Billy. 

"Jesus, Max," he grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose again as Dustin climbed into the abandoned passenger seat. "Just stay out of trouble, okay?" Billy glanced at Dustin with his brow raised. "You not staying with Wheeler?" 

"Uh, no. His girlfriend is coming over. I'm just going home," Dustin mumbled, not making eye contact with Billy. Billy just grunted before pulling away from the curve. They drove in silence for a while before Billy finally cleared his throat. 

"You, uh, didn't tell them about Steve," he said, glancing over to Dustin who was staring out the window. 

"Nope," Dustin said, popping the "p" as he shifted further down into the seat. 

"How come? You told Hopper." 

"I thought Hopper was going to make him stop doing it, not make him stop hanging out with us," Dustin snapped, glaring at Billy. "This wouldn't have even happened if he hadn't started hanging out with you. Steve's not like this." Dustin gave Billy a knowing look that made the blonde's skin crawl. Billy worried his bottom lip between his teeth, glancing away from Dustin. The boy had said exactly what Billy had been thinking since he walked in on Steve trying to staunch a bloody nose over the weekend, what was left of the bump he'd been snorting left on the bathroom counter. 

"Listen, kid," Billy started, waiting for Dustin to look at him. "You can blame me all you want; that's fine-I can take it. There's just...things that your not going to understand about this whole situation. Adult things. Just trust Hopper that he knows the best way to handle this shit. And if that's making Steve stay a way for a while, then so be it. I know you look up to him, Henderson. But you can't put someone up on a pedestal and not expect them to fall. He's gotta make his own mistakes and work his way through it. He won't be gone forever." 

"Yeah, I guess," Dustin said, looking away with a sniffle. 

"I know we don't necessarily like each other, Henderson. But I'm here if you need it, okay?" Dustin stared at Billy in part horror and part confusion. "What?" Billy sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose to try to keep the coming headache at bay.

"Who are you and what have done with Billy?" Dustin asked, his brow crinkled in confusion. "I mean, why are you being nice?" 

"Lets just call it Steve's influence and leave it at that, okay? I'm not an asshole all the time." Dustin continued to stare at Billy. "Jesus, just get out of my car, Henderson." Dustin nodded his head enthusiastically before stumbling out of the car. He waved at Billy as he jogged up to the front door, still confused as Billy pulled out of the driveway. He pulled his radio from his bag, flicking the button to call out. 

"Guys...Are we sure the Mind Flayer isn't in Billy? 'Cause he was just way too nice to me. Guys? Guys?"

***

Steve sat at the kitchen island, bouncing his eraser off the the counter as his leg jiggled. He kept glancing up at the old cigar box Billy had sat on the counter when he got home, knowing exactly what was inside. 

"Harrington, finish your damn homework," Billy grumbled, looking up from his math book. He rolled his eyes at the high pitched whine that escaped Steve's throat as the boy glanced back down at his English essay. 

"If I could just..." Steve trailed off, pointing at the box. 

"Princess, we've talked about this. You fail English, your dad is kicking me out and sending me back to my dad. So you've got to finish your homework sober so it's some what coherent. Finish the essay, I'll check it over, and if you've done it right, then you can have what's in the box. Jesus." Billy rolled his eyes, going back to his math. 

Steve kept saying he was trying to slow down, that he was going to stretch the days out between using, that he didn't want it to take over his life. They both knew he wasn't kidding anyone. Steve had been asking Billy to just take him to meet his dealer so Steve could replenish his supply without waiting for Billy. Billy said that was only going to lead to Steve over dosing. 

He had ran out of coke two days earlier and Billy had drug his feet on going to get more. Steve had been irritable those two days, snapping at everyone as his skin crawled. He had found a forgotten bottle of xanax his mom kept in her medicine cabinet and had chewed his way through two pills just to feel better, squirting the bottle away in his gym bag so Billy wouldn't know. 

Steve didn't know how Billy expected him to finish his homework like this. But Steve knew Billy had a point; his safety was dependent on Steve passing his classes. So Steve sighed, continuing to scribble down the symbolism in Catcher in the Rye. 

As soon as he was finished, Steve slid his notebook across the counter to Billy, sitting with his hands twitching in his lap while Billy finished the problem he was working on. Finally the blonde picked up the notebook, chewing on his pen as he read. He furrowed his brow, circling a couple things on the page before flipping it over. Steve worried his lip between his teeth, watching as Billy nodded and kept reading. After what felt like hours, Billy finally glanced up with a smile. 

"This is actually pretty good. There's a couple things to fix like grammar-wise, but the thoughts there. Good job, Pretty Boy," he said, sliding the notebook back across the counter. 

"Thanks," Steve said, his cheeks burning red as he ducked his head. "Can I...Am I allowed..." He glanced at the box before looking back at Billy. Billy rolled his eyes, nodding. 

"You can probably do edits high. Go ahead." Steve immediately jumped off the bar stool, tripping over himself to flip the cigar box open and pulled a small baggy out. "Dude, don't do it on the kitchen counter. We eat here and I know how you clean. Go upstairs." Steve stopped to press a kiss to Billy's temple before taking the stairs two at a time. Billy simply grunted in reply, going back to his calculus.

It didn't take long for Steve to come back downstairs, sniffling uncomfortably as he dropped back down on his bar stool and pulling his notebook close. Billy watched as the brunette quickly settled back into re-writing his essay, seeming more calm than before. He figured he had about ten minutes before the coke kicked in, and cleared his throat to get Steve's attention. 

"Did you know Henderson didn't tell the nerds about you?" Billy asked, studying Steve's face. Steve looked up, his brow furrowed in confusion. "They were bugging me about why you weren't allowed to drive them around anymore yesterday; apparently the kid only told Hopper, not any of the rest of them. I asked him about it and he said he wanted Hopper to make you stop doing it, not make you stop hanging out with them." 

"Um...what did you tell them?" Steve asked, staring down at his hands. 

"Nothing," Billy assured. "I just said that it was Hopper's decision, not ours." Steve nodded a few times, turning back to his notebook. "I know you think your slowing down, but have you thought about taking a break for a bit; just enough to convince Hopper to give you some privileges back?" Steve stared at him in horror, blinking rapidly. 

"I...I mean, I can, uh...Sure?" Steve finally stuttered out, chewing on his thumbnail. Billy sighed, throwing his pen down as he crossed the kitchen to press Steve back against the counter. 

"We can take the kids to the skate rink like you told them you would at Christmas time. Wheeler asked me about it yesterday."

"Uh, sounds great. Um I can...After today I can try to..." Steve stuttered, not meeting Billy's eyes. 

"You gotta slow down, baby," Billy whispered into Steve's ear. "You can't keep going this hard or your going to fall hard. I don't want that to happen." 

"No, uh, I know..." Steve trailed off, tipping his head back to allow Billy access to his neck. "I'll...I'll stop..."

"I'm not saying you have to stop all together; I'm just saying slow down, okay?" Billy pressed kisses up the side of Steve's jaw, ending with a last peck at the side of his mouth. "Now come on, lets go upstairs. I wanna have my way with you..." Steve snorted, pulling away to race Billy up the stairs. 

***

Billy watched as the kids tumbled out of his car and ran up the hill to Hopper's cabin, Jane standing on the porch waving wildly as her friends ran to her. Billy sighed as Hopper made his way down the hill, gesturing for Billy to wait. Billy pushed himself out of the drive seat, leaning back against the hood as Hopper approached. 

"Hows Harrington?" the chief asked, shaking a cigarette out of a crumpled pack. 

"He's uh...He's trying. He misses those kids and I think he's been having a hard time dealing with not being around them. We talked about it the other night, he's trying to get his shit together," Billy said, taking a drag from his cigarette. 

"Good. I didn't expect him to respond to the scared straight method, but he clearly needs it."

"Uh, I actually wanted to talk to you about...I don't know, supervised visitation?" Billy said, grinning when Hopper snorted. "It's just...Steve promised to take them to that skate rink in Groveport as their Christmas present and it's almost March. And the kids keep asking me about it."

"Hargrove..." Hopper sighed, trailing off. 

"I know. But I can drive, I'll stay with them, I won't let anything happen. I mean, hell, we can ask Nancy and Byers to go with us, if that will make you feel better. But those kids are already disappointed that he's stopped driving them around and if he doesn't take them to the skate rink it's just going to get worse. He knows he let Henderson down, he's trying not to let the rest of them down, too." 

Hopper stared at Billy as he took a deep pull from his cigarette. The blonde shifted anxiously under the man's gaze, the gaze of authority reminding him of Neil backing him into a corner. He itched for another cigarette but forcing his hands to stay limply at his sides. He almost wanted to laugh at the fact that a few months ago he was beating Steve's face in and now he was vouching for the guy to the chief of fucking police. Hopper squinted at Billy before dropping the cigarette butt and grinding it under his heel. 

"He can take them as long as he's not driving and he's not alone with them," the chief finally said with a sigh. "Nancy and Jonathon go with you, too. There's no way all six of them will fit in one car." 

"Of course, thanks Chief. I... I mean it." Billy said, flashing Hopper the smile he normally saved for charming Mrs. Wheeler. He started to walk away but stopped when Hopper gently put a hand on his shoulder. Billy couldn't help the flinch that rocked through his body. 

"Sorry, sorry. I've got something else to talk to you about." Billy scrunched his brow in confusion but nodded his head, leaning back on the Camaro. "I'm going to ask you something, kid, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't try to punch me," Hopper said gently. 

"That doesn't give me warm and fuzzy feelings about what you're gonna say, Hop," Billy said, but nodded his head in agreement. 

"You and Steve..." The chief started off, his eyes flicking to Billy's face before staring off into the distance. "Are you two...I mean, it's fine if you are, but I just want to make sure you two are being safe, 'cause I'm apparently the only embarrassing father figure either one of you have. I just want you to feel comfortable coming to me." The man stopped, studying Billy's shocked face. "Are you and Steve...together?"

"I, uh..." Billy stammered, his blue eyes wide. His heart was hammering in his chest, and he wondered if he had enough gas in the car to make a run for the boarder. Or maybe he should just go home to let Neil kill him for real this time. The whole point was that no one was supposed to know and now Hopper was telling him he wanted to make sure they were safe and Billy was sure he was going to self destruct right where he was standing. Hopper held up a comforting hand, moving slowly so Billy's eyes could track his movements as he squeezed the teens shoulder gently. 

"It's okay, Billy," Hopper said gently. "All I want is to make sure you are being safe and that your happy. Does Steve make you happy?" Billy chewed on his bottom lip, nodding nervously. "Well then that's what I needed to hear. Joyce and I don't care who you love as long as your happy. Same for those kids. You're one of ours now, kid. And even though we're a bit upset with Steve, he's one of ours two. Just know that we're here for you whenever you need us." 

"Uh..." Billy trailed off, swallowing thickly. Neil had never been supportive. Hell, Neil had almost killed him once. And Steve's dad was never around. Was this what a real dad was supposed to look like? "I, uh...Thanks, Hop. I mean it." Hopper nodded, pushing off the car where he was leaning. 

"You better get going," Hopper said, a small grin on his face. "Tell Steve it's going to get better. And tell him his supervised visitation has been approved." Billy let out a huff of nervous laughter before climbing into the driver seat. 

***  
Billy sat with his back against the headboard of the bed, watching as Steve's body trembled slightly as he tried to pull on a bright pastel polo. He stood in the shirt and his boxer-briefs, staring at the spot just above Billy's left shoulder. The bags beneath his eyes had taken on a dark purple color against his skin that was more pale than usual. The brunette opened his mouth to stay something before immediately turning on his foot to stumble into the bathroom. From where Billy was sitting he could hear the dry heaves. 

"Jesus, Harrington," Billy grumbled, climbing off the bed to follow Steve. The boy had already gotten back to his feet, drinking water from his cupped hand while he stared at his reflection in the mirror. Billy stood behind him, pressing his chest to Steve's back as he wrapped his arms around the boy. "I know you said you'd slow down and I know you didn't want to use before we took the kids this afternoon, but if you go see them in fucking withdrawal you're going to scar them far worse than it would if you told them you were using." 

"I..." Steve trailed off, squeezing his eyes shut. "It hurts." Billy sighed as he pulled away, leading Steve across the hall to his parent's bedroom. "What are you doing?" 

"Just know, I'm finding a new hiding spot as soon as you're done," Billy grumbled, sitting Steve down in the small chair Mrs. Harrington had in her walk-in closet. "I figured you'd never think to look here." He went up on his tippy-toes, pulling out a hat box from the top shelf. Steve furrowed his brow as Billy dug around in the box to pull out a small baggy that he dangled between his index and middle fingers. "This isn't as much as usual, but it should get you through the night without looking like you're dying. Also, you're going to where something that's not fucking pastel; pastel makes the bags under your eyes look worse." 

Steve nodded, taking the bag from Billy and moving to leave the room. Billy grabbed Steve's upper arm, squeezing tightly. 

"I moved everything in here a couple days after you said you were going to stop for a while. If you stopped that night, there should still be about 5 grams in the box. But when I got in there, there was about three in a half. I figured you had hid some somewhere and went looking for it, and I found these along with the missing coke." He reached into the hat box and pulled out the bottle of Mrs. Harrington's Xanax and Billy's own bottle of Vicodin from Christmas Eve. "Have you been taking this shit, too?" 

"I...uh... Steve stammered, worrying his bottom lips between his teeth as he tried to pull his arm out of Billy's iron tight grip. "I...Not all the time. Just when I have to go a few days when you haven't gone to the dealer. I mean, if you would just take me with you once I could do it myself! I wouldn't have to take those..."

"That's not the fucking point, Harrington! I didn't realize how much you were using. When you told me you were fine those days I couldn't make it to get you more I believed you that you were really slowing down. You do realize that these-" he shook the pill bottles for emphasis "-are just as addictive as the fucking coke if not more! I mean seriously, man. You have got to slow down."

"I'm fine!" Steve finally yelled back, trying to shake his arm free again. "Let me go. I said let me go!" Billy finally loosened his grip enough for Steve to pull away. He missed the look of concern on Billy's face as he stumbled his way back to the bathroom, stooping to pick up his favorite green sweatshirt on the way. He changed his shirt while he waited for the drugs to kick in, frowning at the bruise already forming around his arm. 

Steve waited until Billy went downstairs to smoke before sneaking back into his mother's closet. Billy hadn't put the box away yet and he quickly dug through the box to shove a handful of pills and a baggy of coke into his pocket. He replaced the I'd and ran down the stairs to find Billy. 

Later, Steve sat in the passenger seat of the BMW, his fingers drumming anxiously on the door as Billy drove. Max and Dustin fought quietly in the backseat, each of them defending a comic book; neither Steve nor Billy knew what the hell they were talking about. They kept asking Steve for his opinion and he kept laughing nervously as the kids would raise another point as to why their opinion was better. 

Dustin had thrown himself at Steve when they picked him up, hugging him tightly as he whispered 'I'm sorry' over and over again. Steve had hugged back, whispering his own mantra of 'it's okay' just a bit louder than Dustin. Billy had looked away, not wanting to ruin the tender moment. He had wondered if the kid could tell Steve was high or if he thought telling Hopper had made the boy stop. Billy didn't want to see the kids face if he realized Steve had gotten high immediately before coming to get them. 

Billy pulled into the Wheeler's driveway, coming to a stop behind Byers' old clunker. Before they even had a chance to get out of the car, Lucas was running across the lawn to slide into the backseat next to Max, giving Billy a weary look in the rear view mirror. Mike, El, and Will climbed into the backseat of Byers' car, Nancy waving cheerfully to them before she got in the passenger seat. Steve clinched his jaw, giving her a forced smile as he waved back. 

"It's going to be a long night," he muttered, glancing at Billy as the kids talked loudly in the backseat. Billy snorted, nodding his head. 

"It was either they come with us, or you don't see the kids until you prove to Hopper you've got your clean. Beggars can't be choosers." Steve rolled his eyes, turning to stare out the window. 

The drive into Groveport was about an hour and a half and by the time they got their Billy was ready to murder Henderson. The kid only had one volume and it seemed that volume was LOUD. About halfway into their trip, Billy had given up and just listened while he and Steve argued about whether the kids were old enough to see Children of the Corn. 

"Dude, we literally live in a town surrounded by cornfields. Why the fuck would you want to watch a movie about a cult that revolves around cornfield. And if you followed that cult, that would mean I'd be dead since I'm over 18!" 

"You telling me I can't watch it just makes me want to watch it more!" Dustin argued, and Billy choked on a laugh as he met Max's eyes in the mirror. The red head was staring at her friend like he was an idiot. 

"Billy let me watch that movie when we were living in San Diego," Max said, turning to face Dustin. "The was before we were surrounded by cornfields. I was terrified for like the first month after we moved here." Billy laughed out loud this time. 

"That was probably a bad idea letting you watch that. How was I supposed to know Neil was gonna move us to this hell hole?" Billy said with a shrug. 

"Well at least Billy would be dead, too!" Dustin said, glaring at the back of Billy's head. "If the cult kills Steve they'd kill Billy, too!" 

"I'm not 18 yet, Henderson," Billy corrected, pulling into the parking lot of the skating rink. "Don't turn 18 until October." Max laughed as Dustin stumbled out of the car mumbling about cults and cornfields. 

"I always forget you're a baby," Steve said with a joking grin. "How are you a senior if you don't turn 18 until after graduation?" 

"I skipped the first grade," Billy said with a shrug as they climbed out of the car. "My mom was real smart and taught me how to read and numbers and all that shit before I even hit kindergarten. Even in second grade I was reading at like a fourth grade level. Kind of bit me in the ass after mom died and shit at home got bad, but I still kept my grades up." 

"Jesus," Steve said with a grin. "I forget you're smart, too," Steve said, laughing as Billy pushed him towards the door. 

"Lets go, Pretty Boy. I wanna see you on skates." 

***  
Steve leaned back against the railing of the skating rink, watching as Billy and Max skated circles around the Party, Billy with his head thrown back in a carefree laugh as Mike fell on his ass. Again. Max reached out to grab Lucas' hands, pulling him close to her as she grinned. Billy had told Steve the night before that he was the one who taught Max how to skate board, starting with roller skates as the skate park when their parents had first started dating and Billy was stuck babysitting the girl. If you watched closely, they both shared the same style of skating, making it look effortless. 

Billy slowed down, staying close to El and Will who were both moving carefully, a big smile on El's face as she stayed upright even after moving away from the wall. Dustin had said it was her first time on skates ever and they wanted to make it a special day for her. Dustin kept gesturing for Steve to join him, struggling to keep Mike's lanky body upright as he the Dungeon Master flailed and fell to the ground again. Steve made a gesture as if to say just a minute before nodding his head toward the bathroom door. He could feel Billy's blue eyes on him and he turned to meet his boyfriend's eyes. Billy raised a brow, rolling his eyes when Steve winked. 

Steve skated off towards the bathroom, checking under all the stalls before locking the main bathroom door. He groped around in his pocket until he found the bag of coke and carefully dumped some onto the closed toilet seat. He used his driver's license to shape the pile into the two even lines and pulled out the rolled twenty dollar bill he'd taken to keeping in his wallet for just this purpose. He quickly snorted the two lines, wincing at the sensation, before clumsily climbing to his skated feet. Steve glided to the door to flip the lock before going back to the mirror. 

He stared at his reflection in the mirror tiredly, trying to figure out how he got here. What steps had he taken to find himself snorting coke off of a public toilet seat while the kids that he'd literally die for skated happily? He thought back to that first time, that first high with Billy's blazing blue eyes trained on him. Steve wondered if he'd be where he was now if he'd just told Billy 'no' that night. Or would he have found his way to coke on his own? Or would he have started with the pills? Should it really be a surprise that he was as hooked as he was after he realized how much the drugs could help him push past his anxiety and insomnia? 

Steve pushed his hair out of his face, shaking his head at his dilated pupils. Nancy was going to be on him again as soon as she saw. How long could he keep this hidden from the girl who knew him better than he knew himself? Fuck, how long could he keep the truth about Billy from her? Steve let out one last shaky breath before pushing himself away from the sink and skated off to where the Party was fighting over what pizza to order. 

"You okay?" Billy muttered in his ear as Steve stood close. Steve grinned, nodding his head. "You were gone for awhile." 

"I'm fine, Bill," Steve said, rolling his eyes as he turned around to look at his boyfriend. He rolled his eyes at Billy's concerned face, pushing past where Lucas and Mike were fighting to grab a handful of fries. He wasn't really hungry, hadn't been since he started using regularly, but since the kids all considered him a bottomless pit he knew he should eat something. He grabbed Dustin's arm, pulling him over to the arcade games tucked into the corner of the rink, begging the kid to play air hockey with him. 

Billy watched Steve go with a furrowed brow, shaking his head with a sigh. He could tell Steve had gotten high in the bathroom and cursed himself for not thinking to immediately hide the stash after he'd caved earlier. It had been a couple of months since Steve had used for the first time and Billy could tell the guy was already a mess. He was so focused on watching Steve that he never heard Nancy skate up next to him until he touched his elbow. He flinched, barely missing elbowing her in the face. 

"Sorry! Sorry, didn't mean to sneak up on you," Nancy said, an apologetic grin on her face. "I...You've changed." 

"What does that mean?" Billy asked, cocking a brow. He didn't know how to talk to Nancy Wheeler, the Princess that had broken Steve Harrington. She was whip smart and always seemed to be able to notice everything you didn't want her to know. 

"It's just...You were an asshole when you moved here," Nancy said with a shrug. "I mean you literally smashed a plate over Steve's head. But...You've changed since you got bit and started hanging out with Steve. You're almost bearable now." Billy snorted, rolling his eyes. He shifted his weight, the phantom pain of the demodog bite itching his calf. 

"Yeah, well Princess apparently will only hang out with me if I'm not an asshole to you all, and I have no where else to go if he kicks me out. So here we are," Billy said with a shrug, flinching again at the knowing look Nancy gave him. 

"I actually wanted to talk to you about Steve..." Nancy trailed off, chewing on her bottom lip as she stared up at Billy. Billy lifted a brow, gesturing for her continue. "Has he...Does he seem...off to you? It's just he's been kind of erratic lately, like he's never acted like this before. And then Hopper said he wasn't allowed around the kids alone anymore and wouldn't tell us why. And...I mean have you looked him in the eyes when he's like this?" She asked, gesturing to where Steve was laughing manically at something Dustin had said. "His pupils are totally blown like he took something." 

Billy opened and closed his mouth a couple times before shrugging. "I'm sure it's nothing, Wheeler. He's just been blowing off some steam." Nancy nodded, her brow furrowed in worry. 

"I know it's not really my place anymore, not after the way I...ended it things. But I still really care about Steve and I'm just worried. I know he's had trouble handling the whole...Upside Down thing. Jesus, the nightmares he used to get were awful. But I just want to make sure he's okay."

"I'll keep an eye on him, if that's what your asking," Billy said quietly, his eyes trained on Steve. 

"Would you? I mean, I don't want you to, like, spy on him. Just make sure he's doing okay, you know?" Billy nodded, cursing when he noticed that Steve's nose was starting to bleed. The brunette hadn't noticed yet and Billy sighed as he scooped up a pile of napkins that they had left on the table. Billy skated across the room, smacking the pile into Steve's chest as a drop of blood fell on the table. 

"Your nose is bleeding, dumb ass," he growled in Steve's ear, staring into Steve's wide, questioning eyes. Nancy was right, his brown eyes were more pupil than iris. "Come on, lets get you cleaned up." Steve pressed the pile of napkins to his nose, shooting Dustin an apologetic glance as he followed Billy towards the bathroom, already knowing this was going to end in a fight. As soon as the door swung shut behind him, Billy slammed him against the hard surface. 

"Seriously?" The blonde growled, looking at Steve in disappointment.

"I'm fine," Steve grumbled, weakly trying to push Billy away. 

"That's not what I'm fucking talking about. You were in here getting high earlier, weren't you?" Billy asked, searching Steve's face. The way Steve avoided meeting his eyes told him everything he needed to know. "I was fucking worried you were still feeling sick from earlier. I was worried about you and you were just getting high." Billy gripped Steve's upper arms tightly, and Steve flinched as he wrapped his arms around the ring of bruises he had left earlier. 

"You're hurting me," Steve mumbled, flinching again when Billy slammed him back against the door again. His skate-clad feet slid underneath him and only Billy's tight grip around his biceps was keeping him upright. 

"And you don't think you're hurting me?" Billy growled, his blue eyes wide. "That you're not hurting those kids? Nancy? Byers? Hopper and Joyce? They might all not know what's going on with you, but you're fucking falling apart in front of us. Or are you too stupid to realize that?" Steve grunted, struggling to get his feet underneath him as he tried to wiggle out of Billy's grip. 

"Fuck you!" He yelled, his eyes flashing as he glared at Billy. "You don't know how it was before! I mean you fucking gave them to me! Said it would fucking help! You can't change your mind now, Bill!" 

"I didn't know you were going to let it fucking ruin your life!" Billy hissed back. "I mean, Jesus, you have people that worry about you. You have people who love you and want to make sure you're okay! Do you know what I would do to have that? To have Hop and Joyce and those kids care about me? Because all I have is a dead mom, a dad who beats the shit out of me, and now a junkie fucking boyfriend who apparently only thinks about himself!"Billy yanked Steve away from the door, letting him stumble to the floor as he hurried out of the bathroom. He paused just outside the door, taking in Nancy's wide worried eyes, her mouth open in a perfect 'O' of shock. Jonathon, Mike and Will stood a few steps behind her, their eyes shifting nervously. 

"I...is everything okay?" She said, studying Billy's face. "I heard you guys yelling..."

"It's..." Billy stopped himself from saying fine, knowing everything was far from fine. "I think we should go soon..." Nancy swallowed thickly, nodding her head. 

"Billy...are you and Steve..." She said carefully, trailing off as the met each other's eyes. 

"Jesus, that's what you want to talk about right now? About how your ex apparently likes dick, too?" He kept going even when she flinched, crossing her arms tightly over her chest. "That his rebound after you ripped his heart out of his chest was the guy that beat the shit out of him? Is that what you want to talk about, Wheeler?" 

"I, Billy, we don't care that you're together, as long as he's happy. I just...He should have told us..." She said quietly. 

"Yeah, well I'm far from Stevie's only dirty little secret now!" Billy choked out, his voice pitching high at the end and he swallowed against the panic welling up inside him. It was one thing for Hopper and Joyce to know. It was one thing for Max to assume. It's another to have Wheeler and Byers know; to have those kids know. These people who could tell everyone at school that would only lead to Neil finding out again and killing him for real this time. 

"How...He's on drugs, isn't he?" Nancy asked, her voice still quiet. Billy couldn't say anything, and he just stood staring at the girl who was too smart for her own good. "That's why he's been acting so weird? That's why Hopper won't let him around the kids? And his eyes?" Billy grunted, clearing his throat.

"I'm taking care of it, Wheeler. Just let it go," Billy said tiredly, running a hand over his face. 

"We can help..." Nancy croaked out, her eyes wide with tears as Byers came to stand beside her, wrapping his arm around her tightly.

"No, you can't," Billy said, starting to skate toward the rental booth to turn in his skates and grab his and Steve's shoes. "You really can't."

***  
For the next few weeks, the Party was mostly quiet on the drive home from school. Mike and Will had clearly told the rest of the group about the fight they heard outside the bathroom at the skate rink and they all seemed afraid to talk about it. 

The only person who didn't seem afraid to approach Billy about the situation was Nancy. She'd give him strained smiles when she would pass him in the hallway; shooting him sad looks when Steve would stumble away from in the hallway, waving an arm behind him when Billy would call after him. Nancy cornered him in the smokers area under the bleachers one day at lunch when Steve had snuck off to his car to chew a Xanax to make it through the rest of the day. 

"Hey," she said quietly, giving Billy a small smile and following him when he lead her away from the other smokers. 

"Wheeler," Billy said with a nod, taking a deep pull from his cigarette. 

"I...I have something for you," she said, pulling her bag close to her chest as she dug through the main pocket. He watched as she pulled her Trapper Keeper out of the bag, frowning as she looked for something. Finally she pulled her hand out of the bag, handing him a handful of brochures. "I picked these up at the guidance counselor's office. No one was in there when I went, so no one knows I pick them up. But I thought they might help?"

Billy flipped through the pamphlets, rolling his eyes at one with a basketball player on it with the scripts "Winners Don't Use Drugs!" across the picture, another with the title "Seeking Drug Abuse Treatment: Know What to Ask." He paused looking at the one stating "Dealing with alcohol and other drug problems in your family" before shaking his head to clear his thoughts. 

"Yeah, I doubt he's going to take these well," Billy said, clearing his throat as he shoved the pamphlets into his own messenger bag. "Besides, he's barely talking to me after last weekend." 

"Really?" Nancy asked, worrying her lip between her teeth. 

"I mean he goes about his day like normal, still pretends to eat dinner with me, still gets ready for bed and acts like everything is normal. But he's said maybe 10 words to me since Saturday. It's Wednesday." 

"I...I'm sorry, Billy. I can talk to him? See if that helps?" Billy sighed, shaking his head. 

"Listen, Nancy," Billy said looking down at her with his hands on his hips. "I know you want to help. But at this rate, he's just going to ice you out too. Just let me deal with it." He stubbed out his cigarette against the metal of the bleacher, giving her a small nod as he strode past her.

***  
Steve didn't show up to basketball, which was nothing new since Christmas. Coach, however, was fed up with him constantly missing practice. He rounded on Billy as soon as he realized that Steve wasn't there. "Hargrove! You still staying at the Harrington's?"

"Uh, yes sir," Billy said, dropping his eyes so he couldn't meet Tommy's gaze.

"Well when you go home tonight, you can tell him he's off the team. I don't have time to chase him around three weeks before championships. If he has a problem with it, you tell him to come talk to me." 

"Yes, sir," Billy said again, chewing his lips as he moved to stand at half court, going against Tommy for the jump ball. Practice went quickly, Billy's attention on the ball and keeping Tommy from scoring at all. Finally Coach blew his whistle, yelling at them to get off his court. Billy stayed behind, the rack of basketballs behind him as he stood at the foul line. He sank shot after shot, trying to calm his racing heart as he thought about going home and talking to Steve. 

"Hey man," a voice said behind him, and Billy flinched as the ball hit the rim and bounced back at him. He turned to see Tommy, his arms crossed over his chest with his gym bag over his shoulder. 

"What do you want, Hall?" Billy asked, spinning the ball between his hands once before dribbling twice and lining up his shot. 

"I wanted to talk to you about Harrington," Tommy said, dropping his bag as he moved to stand under the hoop, rebounding balls and chest-passing them back to Billy.

"What do you know about Harrington anymore, man?" Billy asked, annoyance clear in his voice. 

"Look, I know Steve and I haven't been friends since before Wheeler broke up with him. And I know I've said a lot of shit to him and about him. But...Carol's worried about him. And I guess I'm worried about him."

Billy paused, the ball Tommy had passed to him bouncing past him. "What are you worried about?" 

"He came up to me yesterday during lunch, said he needed to talk to me without Carol. He asked about the pot dealer I go to, the one he used to go to too. Asked if he sold more than pot, asked if I thought he'd have coke, too. And I told him sure, Alex could probably get his hands on some coke with enough heads up. But I said, I don't think he'd handle coke because you know the guy has never fucking slept and that just seemed like an addiction waiting to happen and we're not friends any more but that doesn't mean I don't care about him still. I mean, we've been friends since like kindergarten; I don't want him to be a total fuck up. But he just looked at me and said he knew more about coke than I'd ever know and just walked away. He looked so...I don't know, haunted? Just so fucking out of it. And I just want to make sure someone's looking out for him now that Wheeler's fucking Byers." 

Billy stared at Tommy for a few moments, trying to decide if he thought Tommy was fucking with him. But Tommy truly looked concerned; he looked like the kid who had lost his best friend and didn't know how to get him back. 

"I'm watching out for him..." Billy trailed off, meeting Tommy's eyes. "I've got him, man." Tommy let out a breath, nodding his head as he gave Billy a small smile. 

"Thanks, man..." Tommy said, nodding once at Billy as he stooped to pick up his bag and headed for the door. Billy headed for the locker room and after a quick shower headed to his current 'home.'

All the lights were on when he pulled up to the Harrington's, and Mr. Harrington's car was parked at the end of the driveway. Billy tried to remember if Steve had mentioned his parents coming home or not. He pulled himself out of the Camaro, hurrying up the front walk to let himself inside. 

"Oh, good, Billy's home," Alice Harrington called, giving him a tight smile as she carried a covered dish to the dining room that Billy was pretty sure they never used. 

"Uh, yeah, I had-" he cut off when he met Steve's wide eyes behind his mother, the brunette giving him a small shake of the head. "-to take my step-sister home and got caught up talking to my stepmom," he lied, frowning at the way Steve sighed in relief. 

"Well, Greg and I are home for the evening and I thought we should have a real family meal. It's lucky you too didn't have basketball today." Alice said, crossing back into the kitchen where she had been working on a salad. "I made lasagna. Why don't you two go get cleaned up."

Billy followed Steve up the stairs, shooting Alice a small smile as she watched them from the doorway for the kitchen. Billy went to the guest bedroom where they had luckily left most of his clothes. He went to shut the door and sighed when Steve caught it and slid in the room behind him. 

"Coach says you're off the team," he mumbled as he dug around in the dresser to pull out a fresh undershirt, tossing the Henley he had worn to school into the hamper in the corner. "Said if you have a problem with it, go talk to him." 

"I...I guess I should have expected that," Steve said sheepishly, sitting on the edge of the bed as he watched Billy.

"Where did you go after school?" 

"What? Um, just here. I...I wasn't feeling well," Steve lied, and Billy watched as he rubbed at his bicep where Billy knew there was still a ring of bruises. 

"So you didn't go see some guy named Alex?" Billy asked, sitting down next to Steve, staring at the wall in front of them. 

Steve sucked in a gasp of air, turning to stare at Billy with wide eyes. "I...What? How?"

"Tommy came to talk to me after practice. Told me about you asking if he thought your pot dealer could get coke..." Billy glanced at Steve before looking down at his hands in his lap. 

"I...I didn't think you'd go for me anymore after...after last weekend. And you never introduced me to your guy so I just asked around. I could have always done it myself if you would have let me..."

"My guy is also named Alex, so it's probably the same fucking guy," Billy mumbled, sighing as he laid back on the bed. "Did you already go through all 5 grams?" Steve chewed on his lip before shrugging. 

"I think there's some left, I just wanted a back-up...You don't have to feel bad about enabling me anymore," Steve jokes, winking at Billy. "I'm a big boy I can buy my own drugs." Billy grunted, closing his eyes as Steve burrowed into his side. "I'm sorry...about last weekend. I know you all care about me. But really, Bill, I'm fine." 

Billy grunted, pulling away from Steve as he sat up. "I love you, idiot," he mumbled, staring down at where Steve laid. "Just don't fucking OD..." Steve gave him a small smile, and Billy pulled him to standing as they went to sit through dinner with the Harrington's. 

Greg Harrington was sitting at the head of the long mahogany table, flipping through a stapled packet of papers as Alice scooped a large piece of lasagna onto his plate. Steve slid into the seat to the left of his father, Billy dropping down next to him. He tried to give Alice a charming smile as she handed him the salad bowl, inwardly groaning when Greg flopped the packet down and turned his attention turned on Steve. 

"Have you heard back from Indiana State, Steven? Or any of the other schools you applied to?" Billy could feel Steve stiffen next to him, a death grip on his fork. He had seen the rejection letters over the past few weeks even though Steve never told him. 

"I...uh...I" Steve trailed off, closing his eyes. 

"Stop stammering, Steven, and answer the question," Greg said with a sigh, spearing a tomato in his salad with his fork. 

"I have heard back from all of them. But...I didn't get in..."

"You didn't get in to any of the schools?" Alice asked, her brow furrowed in confusion. 

"Yeah...They all said to try again next semester," Steve said quietly, putting down his fork as he fiddled with his napkin in his lap. Greg sighed, shaking his head as he looked down at his plate. 

"Well looks like I'm going to have to pay your way. Again," the man grunted. "I'll reach out to Indiana State this week, see what a donation can do." Billy paused when he felt Steve flinch beside him. 

"You don't have to do that, Dad," Steve said quietly. "I've been thinking...I want to take you up on your offer to work at the Chicago office. If...If that's still an option." Greg studied him for a moment before nodding, seemingly satisfied that he wouldn't had to pay more money to get-and keep- Steve in college. But Chicago was news to Billy; Steve had never mentioned that was even an option.

"I think that will be a good idea. I'll have my secretary start looking for apartments, we'll have it ready by graduation."

"Yes sir," Steve murmured, picking up his fork again as he started dragging a tomato around his plate. 

"How about you, Billy? I'm sure a smart boy like you must have gotten into all kinds of places," Greg grins at him and Billy has to swallow twice to keep himself from puking from anxiety. 

"Oh, um, I'm taking a gap year? Or two. I'm hoping to get a job after graduation to save up some money so I can make it back to California. Then I'm hoping to get into UCLA. I...My old man wouldn't have had the money to send me this year; Most of the money from my mom's life insurance went to paying off her medical bills and school stuff when I was growing up." Steve glanced at him, his brow furrowed as Alice swallowed a gasp.

"Oh, sweetheart, I didn't know your mother had passed!" She said, looking at him sadly. 

"Yeah, um, she died when I was eight. She had cancer," Billy said quietly, looking down at his plate as Steve reached over to squeeze his thigh. His hand sat on his leg as Alice went on talking about people she knew that had died of cancer and how it was such a horrible disease. 

"Well, son," Greg said, interrupting Alice as he stared at Billy. "If you need help finding a job after graduation, you let me know. You wouldn't want to waste all that potential." Billy gave him a tight smile as Steve's hand fell from his leg. 

***  
Single-handily dealing with a junkie boyfriend while trying to win a basketball championship and graduate with good enough grades that will still get him into a good school even after a gap year is tiring. 

Nancy kept trying to help him, offering to talk to Steve and try to help him get clean or even slow down. The kids keep trying to talk to Steve, telling them they miss him and that if he'd just stop using he could hang out with them again. Jonathon had even approached Steve, trying to tell him about how his dad was an alcoholic and that he'd gotten help and totally turned his life around. Every time one of them would try to talk to him about it, Steve would get pissed off and would seem to use even more to drown out the memory of the conversation. 

Billy spent most of his time making sure Steve was eating, getting him to do his homework as he remembered the Mr. Harrington's rule that Steve had to keep his grades up or Billy was gone. He tried to keep Steve on track, trying to explain his erratic behavior so no one else would figure out what was wrong with him. And it's exhausting. 

Coach started holding extra long practices, saying that it's been ten years since Hawkins lost the championship and that they couldn't be the team that ruined it. The extra practice means one thing; Billy either had time too take the kids home, or check on Steve after school. Obviously he picked Steve. 

"What do you mean you can't take us home?" Dustin whined, almost stomping his foot when Billy rolls his eyes. "You promised! First Steve, now you? Any other promises anyone wants to break?" Billy could feel Jonathon staring at him from across the parking lot as the kids argue before him. 

"First of all, I never promised you shit!" Billy said, pointing at them all. "Second, I'm not your fucking babysitter. I don't know why I ever agreed to drive you shit stains around. I've got bigger shit to deal with and I'm not fucking doing this any more. Get out of my face!" 

He slid into his car, slamming his door shut as Jonathon approached and started gesturing for the kids to get into his car. 

"You okay, Billy?" he called, his hand on Dustin's shoulder as Billy pulled out of his parking spot. Billy gave him the finger, shaking out a cigarette as he tore out of the parking lot. 

***  
They won the championship game the first weekend of April, leaving Billy a week to ride out that high before he started to think about his mom. April 18th was always a hard day for him every year, and his typical anger was heightened during the lead up. He had splashed Lucas, Mike and Dustin with a tidal wave of rain water when he speed through a puddle. He had yelled at Nancy to get off his dick in the middle of the hallway when she stopped to talk to him about Steve. Again. He had broken Byers camera when he tried to take a candid picture of Billy when he was standing out at the smoking area. 

Max, who knew what this week meant to Billy had tried to defend him, trying to explain that he was like this every year. Tried to explain that he missed his mom and how unfair it was that she'd been taken away from him. But then he snapped her skate board (again) when she tried to talk to him about it, and she stopped defending him. 

April 18th was a Friday, and Steve and Billy both agreed to skip school that day. Billy stayed curled in a ball in the bed most of the day, only shaking his head every time Steve tried to talk to him. 

"Do you want me to bring you something eat? I can go get a bottle of whiskey from dad's office and we can get drunk? I know you don't like coke, but I can go get some pot from Alex? Just tell me what you want Billy. Anything. Just tell me," Steve whispered, sitting close to Billy as he ran a hand through the blonde's curls. 

"Just-" Billy croaked out, clearing his throat a couple times. "Just stay here with me," he whispered, sighing in relief when Steve spooned up against him, curling his leg around Billy's waist and pulling him close. 

"It's okay, baby," Steve whispered in his hair, and Billy wondered if Steve was sober. His voice was too subdued to be coked out. "She would be so proud of you." 

They had been laying pressed together in the bed for a better part of an hour when Bill heard it: The familiar rumble of his dad's pick-up as it pulled into the Harrington's driveway. Billy wondered how long the man had known where he was staying, how long he had thought about coming here and dragging his worthless son home. 

"Who is that?" Steve asked, gently untangling himself from Billy's limbs and gazing out his window. Billy laid tense on the bed, hugging himself as he tried to close out the fear of what his father might do. "Wait, someone's hear. Hold on, babe." Billy shot a hand out, grabbing Steve's wrist when he tried to leave the bed. 

"It's my dad," Billy whispered, never sitting up to look out the window. Steve looked at him, a expression of confusion on his face as he glanced out the window again. He watched as a man with a mustache stumbled out of the cab of the truck, a whiskey bottle clinched in his hand as he swayed. 

"Billy!" Neil Hargrove yelled, taking a pull from the bottle as the stumbled up the driveway. "Billy, you get your ass out here!" Billy flinched when the man finally reached the door and started beating on it furiously. "You were the cancer of this family! A fucking faggot! Your momma died of guilt that she brought something into the world like you! It's your fault she's gone!" 

Billy whimpered as Steve pulled away, but he was only gone for a moment before he sat back down with a Walkie Talkie in his hands. 

"Hopper? Hopper, come in. It's Steve."

"Should have fucking got rid of you in the womb! Then maybe I wouldn't have lost my Elizabeth! She would have been so ashamed to see where you ended up!" Neil continued to yell on the front stoop, taking deep swigs of the whiskey. 

"Hopper, it's an emergency!" Steve called into the radio again, letting out a sigh of relief when the it squeaked and Hopper's voice came through. 

"What's going on, kid? Over." 

"Billy's dad is outside my house. He's drunk and is screaming for Billy. I... Can you please..."

"I'll be there as soon as I can. Deputy Powell is probably closer, I'll get him over there and will meet you there. You boys okay? Over."

"Yeah, just hurry." Steve dropped the radio and gently ran his hand over Billy's shoulder, trying to talk low in his ear to drown out Neil's screaming outside the window. "It's okay, you're okay. Nothing he says is true, she would have been so proud of you. Nothing's your fault, baby. You are so good." Steve kept a constant thread of murmurs going in Billy's ear, worried at the way the blonde had gone still as soon as his father had started screaming. Steve let out a sigh of relief when he heard the siren from Deputy Powell's squad car. 

"Neil Hargrove, drop the bottle!" The deputy yelled as he got out of the car. From their position on the bed, Steve could hear the struggle as Powell wrestled Neil's arms behind him, the glass bottle shattering on the cement. Steve sat up to glance out of the window, smiling slightly when he saw Hopper pull up out front. 

"You got him, Powell?" Hopper asked, his hand on his gun as he walked up the front yard. 

"Got him, Chief," Powell grunted, manhandling Neil down the yard to his squad card. The man was still yelling at Billy, struggling hard against the cuffs. 

"Good, take his ass down to the drunk tank. Call for a tow truck when you get there too, I want this truck gone ASAP. I'm gonna go check on the boy's."

"Oh, you're worried about my faggot son, are you?" Neil sneered, struggling harder against the grip Powell had on him. 

"That kid is a better man than you will ever be, Hargrove. Get him out of here." Hopper climbed the front step, knocking on the door and calling out. "Steve? We got it taken care of; let me in, kid." Steve pressed a kiss to the back of Billy's neck before hurrying down the stairs. 

"Hey," he said, swinging the door open as Powell pulled away from the curb. 

"You okay?" Hopper asked, striding over the threshold and hanging his hat on the banister of the staircase. 

"I'm fine, but I think Billy's upset. He just kind of...He just kind of froze when his dad started yelling," Steve said, his voice falling to a whisper the more he talked. He shifted from foot to foot, chewing his bottom lip as he looked up at Hopper. 

"What was he saying?" Hopper asked, gesturing for Steve to lead the way upstairs. 

"Real nasty stuff about how he thinks it's Billy's fault his mom got cancer and died. About how she'd be ashamed if she knew he was a f-f-faggot. That he blamed Billy for everything...His mom died ten years ago today and apparently his dad's taking it bad, too..." Hopper sighed, running a hand down his tired face. 

"Let me go talk to him, okay? Why don't you go get him some water, and something with some sugar to perk him up. It's going to be okay." Steve bit his lip and nodded, hesitating at the top of the stairs when Hopper quietly knocked on the open bedroom door. 

"Billy?" Hopper asked from the doorway, waiting until he heard Billy grunt before he crossed the room. He pulled the chair from Steve's desk and sat backwards on it facing the bed. "How you doing, kid?" 

Billy let out a little hysterical laugh, squeezing his eyes shut against the pinpricks of tears that were threatening to drop. Hopper sighed, letting one of his big hands rest on Billy's calf. Under the sweatpants he was wearing, Hopper could feel the mangled scar left over from the Demodog bite. 

"I know today's hard enough without your old man's bullshit. You gotta know, kid, that that jackass has no idea what he's talking about. Your mother would be so proud of the man you've become. You're smart, fiercely loyal, everything a mother would want from her son. I may have never met your mother, but I'm sure she'd love Steve just as much as you do; anything as long as her kid was happy. That man, that sperm donor, doesn't know how lucky he is to have you as a son. Pieces of shit like that don't deserve a kid. Nothing he says is true, Billy. Don't listen to anything he says." 

Billy broke down then, fat tears sliding down his face as he shook on the bed. "I miss her so much," he hiccuped through gasping breaths. 

"I know, kid. I'd like to tell you it gets easier, but it doesn't. You just get a little stronger. My girl would have been 16 this year. The first few years I was a fucking mess; popping pills to get through the day, drinking my way through the night. Always wondering why it had to be her."

"What changed?" Billy asked, sniffing uncomfortably. 

"The Upside Down," Hopper said simply. "There was too much shit happening for me to keep wallowing in my self pity. We had to save Will, then I took in El. And suddenly I had my own family. Not the family I was expecting; I never would have picked a pack of smartass teenage boys and a group of nerds who play DND on a regular basis. But here I am; I've got all you kids to remind me that I'm still alive. You just have to find something that reminds you you're still alive."

Billy nodded, wiping his nose with the sleeve of the sweatshirt he was wearing. He had just pushed himself up to seated when Steve knocked on the door, a glass of milk and a package of Oreos in his hands. 

"I know you said water," he said, glancing at Hopper. "But I thought milk would go with Oreos better." Hopper snorted, nodding as Steve crossed the room to drop the cookies in Billy's lap. 

"Okay," Hopper said, climbing to his feet. "I'm heading to the station to take care of your dad. Jake with the garage should be here soon to tow his truck to the impound lot. If anything comes up, call me again." The boy's nodded and Steve followed Hopper down the stairs to make sure the door was locked. 

Steve poured his own glass of milk before going back upstairs. Billy was sitting with his back against the headboard, licking the icing out of the center of a cookie. He glanced up at Steve, a small smile on his face. 

"Hey," he whispered as Steve crawled onto the bed next to him, pulling a cookie out of the package. "I...I'm...Thank you, for today...For being here." Steve dropped his cookie back into the package and gently pressed a hand to Billy's jaw so they were facing each other.

"Of course, baby," Steve whispered against Billy's lips. "Nothing he said about you is true, okay? She would have been so proud of you." 

***  
Billy had thought that after the championship game and the anniversary of his mother's death, maybe things would start to slow down. But clearly that's what he gets for thinking...

As graduation approached, the party scene in Hawkins picked up. And the more parties Steve went to, the more he and Billy fought. And the more they fought, the more reckless Steve got. 

"We're graduate in like three weeks, Billy! We can let lose a little!" Steve argued, his hands on his hips as they stood outside of Joey O'Day's house. Billy had drug Steve outside after three full cups of jungle juice, trying to calculate what Steve had taken before they left the house.

"You still have to pass fucking finals or you aren't graduating," Billy growled, pushing Steve towards the car. "And you've been letting lose since I gave you the first fucking bump. Let's go, Pretty Boy." 

The kids still were still avoiding him, which Billy kind of felt bad about. But Billy was too busy trying to keep Steve together than to worry about hurting the kids feelings right now. He did get Max a new skateboard, and Steve helped him pay for a new camera lens for Jonathon to replace the one he had broken. Steve had laughed and said this wasn't the first time he was replacing Jonathon's camera. 

Billy spent most afternoons, pacing the kitchen like a prison guard as he tried to make Steve finish his homework. He'd glare at the boy when Steve got mouthy with him, threatening to flush his stash if he didn't finish his work. 

"Will you stop being such a dick head about this?" Billy snapped one day, slamming his palms on the counter making Steve flinch.

"Why are you making such a big deal about this?" Steve shot back, throwing his pencil down. "You have made sure my grades are high enough all semester that I could fail all my finals and still graduate. And I'm not going to college, so what's the point?" 

"That's so great. You've got Daddy to pay your way out of this shit town. You've got Daddy to give you a job and throw money at anyone who could possibly question you. We can't all be that lucky, Princess! I'm just trying to make sure you aren't a total dumbass when you show up at Daddy's fancy office. So sue me!" 

"What, is that what you're so upset about? That I'm going to Chicago to work for my dad after graduation?" Steve asked, his brow furrowed in confusion. 

"No, I'm upset that you didn't even talk to me about it. I'm upset that I've been keeping you from failing school, from overdosing on pills and coke for almost six months and you're just going to leave me here to do what your dad wants! You don't see any problem with that? None at all?" Billy held Steve's gaze, waiting for the brunette to answer. 

"I was...I was going to ask you to come to Chicago with me," Steve finally said quietly. "I've been meaning to ask you, I was just worried you were going to want to go back Cali and I don't think I can do that right now 'cause dad would probably cut me off if he knew I was moving across the country with my boyfriend. I...I was going to go work for him in Chicago for a bit to save up some money and I was going to ask you to come with me and then once we saved up the money we could go to California...I was gonna try to get clean in Chicago. And I wanted you to know how much I appreciate what you've been doing for me." 

The boys stare at each other for a few minutes before Billy pushed off the counter and scooping up his keys. 

"What are you doing? Where are you going?" Steve asked, sliding off his barstool to follow Billy to the door. 

"I need some air. I'll be back after while. Just finish your homework and I'll be home later." Steve couldn't stop the flinch when Billy slammed the door behind him.

***  
Billy didn't really have anywhere to go he quickly realized as soon as he left the house. So he drove around town for a while, finally lading at the diner down town. He sat at the counter, ordering a burger and fries. He gave the waitress a small smile as she slid a strawberry milkshake in front of him, remembering his order from past trips. 

Billy didn't know why he had left. Steve had said exactly what he wanted: he was planning on taking Billy with him when he left. Wasn't that why Billy had been so upset? Wasn't that exactly what he wanted to hear, that Steve wasn't going to leave him like everyone else. But the more Steve used, the less Billy was convinced he could take care of him. And yeah, Steve promised he was going to get clean in Chicago, but how many times had he told Billy he was going to get clean? What if he wasn't enough to make Steve try?

He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. He loved Steve; the brunette was the best thing that had ever happened to him. Billy knew he would stay with Steve as long as he would have him. He would follow Steve to the end of the earth if that meant he got to keep him just that much longer. 

Billy gestured to the waitress, pulling out his wallet as she placed his bill in front of him. He winked at her as he slid some cash towards her. He was sliding a cigarette out of the pack as he rounded the side of the building when someone grabbed him and slammed him against the brick building. 

"What the fuck," Billy grunted, trying to push against the hands fisted in his jacket lapels. He sucked in a deep breath when he realized it was his father who had him pinned. "Dad-."

"You fucking faggot," Neil growled, shaking Billy again before slamming him harder into the wall. "You got me arrested. Work suspended me when they found out. How are you still ruining my fucking life?"

"Dad, I didn't-" Billy gasped, trying the struggle against Neil's hold. The blonde couldn't stop the whimper that escaped him when Neil backhanded him. 

"Shut up!" The elder Hargrove yelled, landing a punch to Billy's ribs. "Playing house with the fucking Harrington boy while everyone in town can see. Who do you think you are, disrespecting me?"

"Dad, its not like you think! You told me to leave, the Harrington's just gave me a place to stay," Billy pled. "I'm not doing that stuff anymore. I wouldn't." Neil gave him one last punch before forcefully pushing him away. 

"You better not be, boy." Neil pointed at him as he walked backward from his son. He nodded at a man who had came out of the hardware store to check on the commotion as he climbed into his truck. Billy let his head fall back against the brick wall as he tried to catch his breath, letting out a hiss of pain that the punch to the ribs had brought. Finally he slowly stumbled to the Camaro. 

Steve was sitting by the pool smoking when Billy stumbled in the house. He quickly stamped out his cigarette as he rushed into the house, reaching out to steady Billy as he swayed. 

"What happened?" The brunette asked, his eyes wide. He ushered Billy to a barstool, running around the counter to grab a towel to mop up the blood from where Neil's ring had cut Billy's cheek. 

"Fucking Neil cornered me outside the diner," he growled, swatting Steve's hand away. 

"Wait, seriously?" Steve asked, chewing on his bottom lip. Billy grunted, rubbing tiredly at his temples. "Jesus, I thought once you moved here you wouldn't have to worry about him getting rough with you. Just wait until graduation; we'll get out of here and you'll never have to see him again." Billy let out a bitter laugh, glancing up to meet Steve's eyes. 

"How stupid are you?" Billy ground out. "What, you thought just 'cause I moved across town that he wasn't gonna be able to hurt me anymore? Did you think that he didn't know where I was? That he couldn't just come here any time he was pissed off and wanted someone to take it out on? Now that you got him arrested the other night, he's pissed. There's nothing stopping him from coming here at any time. Nothing stopping him from jumping me on the fucking street."

"I...Billy, we can tell Hop. He can help." Steve, reached out for Billy's hand, flinching when Billy pulled away. 

"I've already told you that cops won't fucking stop him. Jesus, I've spent six fucking months worrying about your junkie ass when I could have been saving money so I could get out of here. I should have been gone by now." Billy threw the towel down before pulling on his hair. 

"We've got like two weeks until graduation, Billy. We can leave the next day, Dad's secretary already has a two bedroom apartment set up for me. I'll start working at the office, maybe Dad can get you a job there, too. I mean he likes you more than me. Or you can find any job. You'll never have to see him again."

"You really think that's going to work, don't you?" Billy asked incredulously. "That I'm just going to chase you to the city like some lost puppy and that we're going to live happily ever after in a condo paid for by mommy and daddy until you fucking overdose because I'm not enough to get clean for. You think that's what I want?"

Steve couldn't stop the flinch that rocked through his body. He stared at Billy with wide eyes, opening and closing his mouth several times at a loss for words. Billy had been upset about Steve leaving him earlier. Now he seemed even more upset that Steve wanted Billy to come with him. 

"I told you I was going to get clean when we got to the city. I want to be with you, that's why I asked you to come to Chicago with me. I thought you wanted to be with me too. I promise I'm going to get clean. And we'll make it to California as soon as we have the money. We'll do it together. We're better together." Steve reached out to Billy again, but let his hand drop limply when Billy pulled away. 

"News Flash, Stevie. You've been telling me you're getting clean for months. Knowing you, you'd probably spend the fucking rent money on crack. Or will you have moved onto heroin by then?"

"You don't have to be a fucking dick, Billy. I'll go to rehab if I have to, I'm sure dad will be happy to pay for it if it avoids a scandal." Billy let out a loud "ha!' as he paced in front of Steve. 

"Oh, of course! Daddy will just throw money at the problem until it goes away! Maybe if he gives you enough of an allowance, you can put enough smack up your nose that you won't wake up! Won't that solve all your problems!"

Billy immediately knew he overstepped. But that didn't mean he wasn't shocked when Steve punched him in the face. Billy staggered back, wiping at the blood that had started to drip from his nose. He stared down at it on his hands before giving Steve a feral smile. 

"Oh, you want to do this again, King Steve?" Billy sneered, landing a punch to Steve's gut that sent him doubling over. He threw punch after punch after punch, one again falling into madness as he took his anger out on Steve.

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry this took so long! This was the hardest part of this series for me. I know where the next three parts are going, but I just couldln't get there until I finished this part. The next part shouldn't take near as long. 
> 
> I hope you like this! Please comment if you do (I need validation...)


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